Has it really been 6 months? Wow. It feels more like 6 days. . . .and then, sometimes, more like 60 years. A definite line has been drawn in the sands of our life. On one side is life with Luke and on the other is life without him. I hate it. I know that this is my reality now, and that I need to accept it, but I don't want to. I still catch myself doing things as if he were still here. Yesterday, the boys came in the house and let the door slam shut and I almost yelled at them not to wake up their brother, then I remembered. . . how can this be my life? It hurts more than I can describe. I want answers to questions that probably can never be answered in this life. I found this excerpt from a blog that I love and wanted to share it:
I know you've heard this analogy before, but I often think of the brother of Jared (in the Book of Mormon) and his lengthy trip to the promised land. Those boats could not have moved without the fierce wind and tempests. With still water they would never have reached their destination. But when they were in the depths of the sea, tossed about by the very winds that were carrying them to the promised land, the winds that their Lord could command to cease, they did cry unto the Lord and "he did bring them forth again upon the top of the waters." And even while they were tumbling in the water for over a year, "no monster of the sea could break them." And when they reached their destination, they praised the Lord and did "shed tears of joy" because "of the multitudes of his tender mercies over them." It is a wonder to me that they did not curse the Lord and ask why they couldn't have traveled another way, a more gentle way. But I think they recognized the necessity of the constant wind--"the wind did never cease to blow toward the promised land." This storm, this tempest, this fierce wind, this complete upheaval in your life is moving you toward the promised land. And God will bring you forth again upon the top of the waters.
I hope I get to the promised land quickly. . . .
6 comments:
Someday we will be grateful for the thorns, the wind, and the rain. Someday we will stand before our maker and realize that there was no other way. Until that day take comfort in the peace only HE can bring and know that you and your family are loved.
what a beautiful picture, and beautiful words. love you!
Jan ... I love you! I love your spirit you are the greatest. This is a very nice post. I love the picture of Luke. I do wish he was here. Thanks for always keeping my life in perspective. You are the best.
The analogy . . . is very fitting. A nice reminder.
Gabrielle
Just stooping to say we think of you and love you. Keriann & Justin
funny... I meant stopping:)
One more thing I would add: The brother of Jared saw not only the finger of the Lord, but the Lord Himself, as you will, as Luke does now.
Your promised land is where you can all be together as a family, whole and well.
You will make it there. Just a little longer here in the deep water of mortal life.
You will make it!!
I love you!!
Post a Comment