Five years ago, I received a piece of advice from a wonderful man who had been my bishop, but at the time of Luke's passing, was part of the Stake Presidency. He said, as he walked out of my house one night just a few days after Luke had died, "This will not be the hardest part.....this pain you are going through now will not be the hardest thing. That will happen in the weeks and months and years to come."
I didn't want to believe him at the time. I couldn't fathom being more scared, more tired, more sad, more empty than that moment. I hated his words.....but, he was right.
It has been five years now. At times that seems like an eternity. Like its still a nightmare that I am bound to wake up from at any moment. And then at times, it seems like a great accomplishment. We lost a child, but have not let it define us.....we live with the hope of knowing that Luke is part of our family forever....not really lost at all.
I have struggled more this year than the last few. I think it has a lot to do with this.....
