Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Feelings

What's wrong with me? I'm mad, I'm happy, I'm furious, I'm okay, I'm sad, I'm fine. . . .I'm a lunatic. That's what I feel like right now. I know why. I'm grieving. Well, I'm sick of grieving. And the worst part is it will never go away. I have loved having the rainy and cold weather stay so long. Everyone thinks I am nuts, but I love it and I think I know why. Yesterday, I took the kids to the park and I hated seeing all the families and toddlers. I hate having just memories of Luke. I need him here. I need to hold him and smell him and play with him. It is a physical real need and I can't fill it. There is just emptiness.

3 comments:

Amber said...

I know I don't say the right thing after reading things like this. but i love you. you are amazing.

The Hammers said...

It is an emptiness. I know, I feel it too. Brylie would have been 8 this year. It kills me that she won't be baptized. I literally feel your pain. I love you, and I know it will never go away, but hang in there for your other kids. They need you. We all need you.

Tina said...

Take Luck my friend. There will be peace, untill then I am here to remind you that a half snowcone is not nearly as good as a whole snowcone.