Peripheral Vision

Lately, the details of that dreadful day have been circling in my head.  I try not to give them focus on the center stage of my mind.....they stay in my peripheral vision though. Just bits and pieces swirling around.....

Sometimes I wonder if it is better just to relive it and be done, and maybe, be able to pack the memories away for awhile.  Or do I just keep them sidelined.....until they get sick of being ignored and possibly go elsewhere....

There is no check list for grief; no rule book.  Grief is as individual as a fingerprint.

It has been 2190 days, 52,560 hours, 3,153,600 minutes since I saw that thumb sucking, blanket loving, dish water blond, blue eyed baby boy.  My Luke.  My Cookey Lukey.  My  Luker boy. Sometimes I just sit and try to remember everything I can about him.  Or, when I see a beautiful sunrise or a gorgeous full moon, I wonder if he sees the same morning sky or night beauty.  I choose to believe he does.  And he knows I am thinking of him.

I think its time to change what is in my peripheral vision.....to this......