Our Easter Festivities

This year, the Easter Bunny did not come visit our house, or really, I should say, he wasn't invited. Is that horrible? Am I a bad mom? Well, either way, it just didn't happen. I justified it as being a good thing. I have tried really hard the last 18 months to teach my children what the resurrection is, and what it means for our family. So, the bunny wasn't what I wanted them to focus on. . . but in my defense, they got to go to TWO Easter Egg hunts.





I didn't think that this Easter would be that difficult, emotionally. But, it was. It is hard not to be able to watch Luke scramble around finding candy filled eggs, just to find one, sit down, and eat the contents right there. I miss that so much.

We always set a place for Luke, at the table, on special Holidays. It broke my heart to put out his little cup and spoon and plate, and have no one to be there to fill the space. But more that that, Easter is about the resurrection. And the resurrection is what makes it possible to me to be with Luke again. Without that, there would be no Luke. . . there would be no eternal families. The resurrection makes it all possible and that makes the resurrection so very important to me. I need to know I will be with Luke again or I will not be able to go on.

Here are some pictures of our past Easter Festivities--







Happy Easter Luker Boy!

Take Your Meds

I went to the temple today.

Everytime I go, I just hope that Luke will be on the other side of the veil.

And he is. . . in a way, I guess. Just not the way I hope for.

I can't wait for the day when he is physically there. I know it will happen. It just has to.

I had a friend say she could tell I was still struggling. Well, its true.

I think this is the best way to describe grief--it is like having a nonterminal, incurable, but mangeable disease. . . like diabetes or asthma.

I will always have grief. But as long as I take my meds--prayer, reading the scriptures, going to the temple, listening to the prophets, talking to WONDERFUL friends--my grief is mangeable, not gone, but manageable. So, yes, I struggle from time to time. I always will. But I'll manage. I'll take those prophet prescribed meds and hope it stablizes me.

And then there are those days when I don't take my meds. I'm doing fine so I go off of them or I don't want to have grief, so I rationalize that if I don't take my grief medication then I don't have grief.

That's when I slip into a grief coma. . . .

And to get out of that takes lots of tears. . . . and cherry pepsi.

There is a quote that says "Given a choice between grief and nothing, I'd choose grief."

And so would I. The precious memories I have of Luke are irreplaceable. I am eternally grateful I have them and that he is ours FOREVER!

The BIG Reveal

Brian made a wonderful entertainment center for us when we moved into this house. But as time went along, I, being a girl and all, decided it was time for something different (and a little bit smaller). I looked and found MANY things that I wanted to buy, but Brian was against buying something he could build. But he did consent for me to try to sell the old entertainment center and said he would build another one when the old one sold.

Well, I sold it a couple of months ago. Brian has been working on it pretty much nonstop, unless he was snowmobiling (we must have play with our work, isn't that how it goes?). So, here is the new entertainment center. I am still trying to decide if I love the paint job, which was my thing, but the build of it is EXCELLENT.

Brian--you are AMAZING!

NOTE: The green is a little bit darker that it appears in the pictures-- so what do you think?