Take Your Meds

I went to the temple today.

Everytime I go, I just hope that Luke will be on the other side of the veil.

And he is. . . in a way, I guess. Just not the way I hope for.

I can't wait for the day when he is physically there. I know it will happen. It just has to.

I had a friend say she could tell I was still struggling. Well, its true.

I think this is the best way to describe grief--it is like having a nonterminal, incurable, but mangeable disease. . . like diabetes or asthma.

I will always have grief. But as long as I take my meds--prayer, reading the scriptures, going to the temple, listening to the prophets, talking to WONDERFUL friends--my grief is mangeable, not gone, but manageable. So, yes, I struggle from time to time. I always will. But I'll manage. I'll take those prophet prescribed meds and hope it stablizes me.

And then there are those days when I don't take my meds. I'm doing fine so I go off of them or I don't want to have grief, so I rationalize that if I don't take my grief medication then I don't have grief.

That's when I slip into a grief coma. . . .

And to get out of that takes lots of tears. . . . and cherry pepsi.

There is a quote that says "Given a choice between grief and nothing, I'd choose grief."

And so would I. The precious memories I have of Luke are irreplaceable. I am eternally grateful I have them and that he is ours FOREVER!