Security Blankets

I remember as a child having several "security blankets"......I had that one special blanket that could comfort me when nothing else could. I still remember what it used to smell like. When I would get really sick as a child, I liked to get into a pair of my mom's flannel pajamas that were green and white striped. It always made me feel just a little bit better to be in them. I had a stuffed bunny that I got one Easter that I slept with every night. My chin fit perfectly in between its ears and I could just snuggle into it and everything became fine. The funny thing is, I don't know where any of those things are anymore or when I stopped using them. I must have moved on or grown up or something to not need them, right?

Yesterday, I let go of another security blanket. But this time, I will remember every second of losing it. We took down Luke's room yesterday.

After Luke's passing, his room was a source of pain for me. I wanted to take it down several times in the months that followed his death, but Brian insisted we needed to leave it, and darn it, he was right. His room became my security blanket. It was comforting. It was what we had left of him that was tangible. It stood for everything we needed to remember for 2 1/2 years. And now it's gone.

It was gut wrenching and horribly sad and I really, really wish I had my blanket, my mom's pj's, and my bunny.