Breaking News

I have some Breaking News here at the Taylor Chronicle.....a 6 month old baby named Benjamin can answer questions when asked directly.

Impossible you say......it has never been seen before......you just can't believe it......

Well, we have video proof......



He is a baby GENIUS!!!!  And he is SUPER cute.  Just as an added update, at his 6 month appointment, Benjamin weighed 20 lbs. 8 oz. and was 27.5 inches long.  He is a tank and we love it (maybe his weight has something to do with his ginormous brain?!?!).

As Plain As The Nose On My Face

I have ALWAYS been, shall we say, aware of my nose.  Let's be honest....it is, well, of a more portly nature.....it is vertically challenged.....it is stoutly built........it has more cushion for the pushin'.....it is BIG.

I was made fun of my entire childhood because of it, but as I got older, the jokes stopped, not because my nose got smaller, but because adults don't make fun.  I kind of forgot my nose was big......until.......

My all time favorite comment on my nose was made just 6 years ago by a young boy in our ward.  We were practicing for the primary program and I was sitting with my son's class.  A boy in his class turned around and looked at me and said "Your nose looks like a witch's!"  How do you respond to something like that?

Ah, what was a girl to do?  My husband seeing my unhappiness decided to talk to a surgeon at work who suggested I come in for a consult.

So, 6 years ago he and I went and talked to the ENT doc about my nose.  I found out there was more wrong with it than I thought.....a horrible deviated septum, big turbinates, and a high bridge (i.e. one heck of a big hump). 

The solution to those problems.......A NOSE JOB.  But, shortly after talking to him, I got pregnant with Luke and by the time I had him and met our deductible, there was no time to have the surgery.

Until this year.......

But before I reveal the NEW nose, let's review the OLD one.  Let's go back.....

Okay, maybe this is too far back, but seriously, I had a cute nose!

Crusin' forward.....and.....STOP!

Not bad from the front, but look out......BAM.....from the side!!!!

So here are the pictures in succession of the AFTER:

Day 1



 

 

Day 2  Post Op

 

Day 3 Post Op

    

Day 4 Post Op

Day 5 Post Op





Today- Day 6 Post Op Front

Day 6 Post Op Side

NO MORE BUMP!!!!!

The recovery hasn't been as bad as I expected. The pain is minimal, it is more just uncomfortable. But I do have a great support system--great husband, and great friends who have helped me so much!!!!! I am still pretty swollen, but don't worry......I will post more pictures when the swelling goes down some more and maybe I will even put on a little make-up!!!

Five is Fun

I have this book called "So You Want To Raise A Boy" (I got this after having Mike, and for obvious reasons, has been a great resource for me!).  It is a fabulous guide on how to raise boys by their age. 

The title of the chapter for a five year old  is "Five is Fun".  It says that 5 marks a happy new plateau of maturity.....five is alive, five is fun. A five year old is still a "mama's boy" and depends upon her for his comfort and companionship in most situations.  It describes a five year old boy at having two qualities that compete with each other--gabbing and grubbing.  As a result, it is common to see a boy of this age trying to talk at top speed while eating a huge plate of potatoes and gravy.  The life of a 5 year old boy is happy and lovable.

See what I have to look forward too........

Holding to my tradition, here is the story of Luke's birth. My labor started at around 1:00 in the morning. Brian and I had a party we went to the night before that I helped with and we suspect that is what put me into labor. We went to the hospital and I was dilated to a 3. So they wanted me to walk around and they even had me sit in a warm tub to see if I would dilate so more. After an hour, I was almost a 4 so they decided to admit me and get things going. And then the waiting began. We waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. I just wasn't progressing. The doctor finally checked me and discovered that Luke was trying to come out the wrong way; he was face up. So he tried to turn him four times so he was coming out the right way, and he just wouldn't stay. So the doc said that I would just have to get Luke out that way. So I pushed and pushed and pushed and he finally came into the world at around 4 o'clock.  He was a little squirt at just 6 lbs. 6 oz., but we were thrilled to have him here!

And we are still thrilled to have Luke in our family forever!


Happy 5th Birthday our Cookie Lukey!  We love you and miss you more than words can express!!

Oh My, How You Grow

So Benjamin hit 20lbs. this week.....yea, he's a BIG boy!  I wanted to know when my other boys hit that weight, so I pulled out all the baby books.....he are the results:

Josh:  6 1/2 months

Mike:  6 months

Luke:  13 months

Ben:  5 months 1 week

All this reminiscing got me thinking that if Dr. Seus wrote a book about growing up, it may go a little like this:

Oh My, How You Grow

Look!

You have grown today.

An inch.....a foot.....a yard

You're off and away!

You can sit on your bum,

You can roll over too.

You can eat pureed plums,

and bananas, it's true.

Oh my, how you grow!

You're on your way up!

Before you know it,

You'll drink from a cup.

And then, oh then,

the things you will do.

Like walking and talking,

And, probably, stumbling too.

Who'll be there to catch you?

Why, ME of course!

No matter the size

That your body gets to,

I will always be there.....

The one who will love YOU!

                                               Super cute, right?!?!





Dancing With a Limp

“You will lose someone you can’t live without,and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up. And you come through. It’s like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly—that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp.”
― Anne Lamott  

It has been 3 years now since our Luke passed.....and we are continuing to learn how to deal with the grief and pain.  It is a lot like dancing with a limp. 

 

This is the very last picture we took of Luke 3 years ago....

 

 

Halloween Night......he was so cute.  He said "Thank You" to everyone who put a candy in his pumpkin.

The next night, he learned to crawl out of his crib. 

The morning of November 3rd, he crawled out of his crib, and knocked on his brothers' bedroom door to wake

 them up. 

By 4:30 P.M., he was gone.

“Grief can be a burden, but also an anchor. You get used to the weight, how it holds you in place.”

                               ― Sarah Dessen

Our grief has anchored us in a way I did not think possible. There is no more time to second guess what I know......I need.........want.........and will get back to him!

And so, this is this Halloween. 

We just keep dancing.

There are things that we don't want to happen but have to accept, things we don't want to know but have to learn, and people we can't live without but have to let go.

~ Author Unknown

Family Pictures 2012

So....we finally bit the bullet and did family pictures.  I think they turned out pretty cute!

Family 2012

Mike Age 9

Josh Age 11

Ben Age 3 1/2 months......the pants were a little tight!

The rolls!!!

My fav!

He kept pinching my butt!



I was trying to get him to stop!

  

Brian is soooo tough!!!



It is always so hard to look at pictures of our family with one missing, but I remind myself  that I need to remember this time too. 

 It is important.  It is special. 

My kids are growing up and that needs to be recorded!

I love my family!

Beam Me Up

Just listen......




Seriously, beam me up.

And So It Begins.....

"And so it begins....." 

This is what Brian texted me last night when I told him I wanted it to be January.

I always get excited to get out my Halloween decorations, and I always forget that by the end of putting them up, I am sad. 

They are a reminder of the last month we spent with our son.  What would you do or say, or how would you act differently if you knew you only had 4 more weeks with someone you love?  3 years ago, I only had 4 more weeks with my Luke.  4 weeks to love on him, kiss on him, hold him, put him to bed, bath him, play with him.....just 4 more weeks, and then it would be over.

I am trying to remember those last few weeks with him.  I wish I would have known that those last few weeks of memories would have to last a lifetime.  I would have written more down, recorded him more so I wouldn't forget.

I asked Brian last night what his memories are that he goes to when he thinks of him, and I love that they aren't the same as mine.  He reminded me of just how big a personality Luke had. 

Wow, I miss that kid!

Laugh Baby Laugh

Vincent Van Gogh once said,

"If one feels the need of something grand, something infinite, something that makes one feel aware of God, one need not go far to find it. I think that I see something deeper, more infinite, more eternal than the ocean in the expression of the eyes of a little baby when it wakes in the morning and coos or laughs because it sees the sun shining on its cradle."

Oh, it is grand!



This kid certainly knows how to work the system. 

You see, he started waking up 2-3 times a night again instead of the blissful once a night we had been experiencing for almost a month. 

I have been at my wits end and exhausted and started wondering why did I do this again......

And then he started to laugh.......

And I said, oh yeah, that's why!!!

A Day In The Life Of.....ME

Well, when you have a baby, a lot of your days are doing the same old thing, day in.....and day out. 

Someone told me recently that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.  Well. . . . . call me insane. 

I keep thinking if I put Ben in his crib for a nap, this time he will sleep for 2 hours.  NOPE!

 I think, if I just have the "be nice to your brother; he is your brother for ETERNITY" talk with Josh, then he will be nice to said brother.  NOPE!

If I do all the laundry, it will stay done.  If I mop the floor, it will stay clean. If I eat that piece of chocolate cake, I won't get fat.  To all these things, there is a resounding NOPE!

Ah well, I guess we all are a little insane, right?

Bathtime

Benjamin just loves baths.....he kicks and splashes and smiles.....he loves the water!!!

Here is a little taste of what it is like to bath this kid......I don't know, but I can see another Michael Phelps in the making!

And, yes, he is a cute chubby thing.....he is almost 16 pounds!!!!!

Things Are Not As They Seem

I had an experience Saturday, one that I have had before, and one I will have time and time again.

I saw a friend from high school.  I hadn't seen her since high school.  I went up to her, in Walmart, and said the usual "Hi.  How have you been?".  I noticed a baby in her cart and asked how old she was.  Her response was that she was 8 months old and it was her one and only. 

Josh and Mike were with me and I was holding Ben.  She asked if "they" were mine and I said yes and introduced Josh, Mike and Ben.  Then she asked their ages.....which to me is the signal of "Wholly crap.....you have an 11 year old, a 9 year old and then a baby.  Why such the spread? ".   So I feel the need to say that there isn't such a spread, but we lost our third child 2 1/2 years ago. 

I hate this.  What do I do?  Do I explain that things are not as they seem?  That we have 4 boys not just 3?

It is heart wrenching to explain our family because of what happened and it is heart wrenching to not explain our family because that means leaving Luke out.

These are the two pictures I have in my head.......I just need to figure out a way to combine them..........

Forgetfulness

When you have a baby, especially when you haven't had one for a while, you forget about some stuff. 

Like the fact that they cry. . . . and sometimes they cry A LOT!

Like this:

Or they protest when you try to dress them in cute outfit, like this:

And then they poop all over said outfit 15 minutes before you should be going to church

and you are not ready yet!!  Or they will only sleep on top of you with the hairdryer running nonstop....like this:

And the reason why we forget.........is this:

And so all we can do is forget the uncomfortable (do you like how I side stepped calling this stuff bad!) and enjoy the cuteness:

Parts and Pieces

We have been enjoying every part and piece of this little guy!  I am amazed at how protective Josh and Mike are of Benjamin....."Mom, don't go over that bump so fast", "Mom, don't turn so quick", and if Ben even makes a peep, "I'll go get him!".  They will stop whatever they are doing to play with him or hold him.

Ben is such a blessing to our family. He has helped us remember that eternal perspective. . He is helping me to remember that Luke is ever present in our lives, even though he can't be seen. He is helping me to regrow some of the parts and pieces I lost when Luke passed.

Here are some parts and pieces we especially LOVE!
 
                                      

A Blessed Event

Yeterday, we had Benjamin's blessing.  It was a good day.  It is hard to describe the feelings I was having yesterday.  I was grateful to have this wonderful little boy in our family; grateful he is healthy and growing.  And yet, on special days such as this, it is hard to forget who isn't with us.  We miss Luke all the time, but especially on days like this.

And then the memories start.....

So, we have to focus on the now.....on the good.

Here are some pics of our GOOD day!